Expecting mom Britney Spears is looking back on her previous pregnancies.
There’s no question the pop star is excited about her “little little fetus,” but she’s also expressed some anxiety about bringing a baby into the world after her conservatorship. She’s undoubtedly been through hell and back, and some of the experiences she had in her previous pregnancies (with Jayden and Sean Preston) also left her a bit scarred.
Related: Britney Says She Is LOVING Pregnancy Sex With Sam Asghari!
The Stronger artist recalled some of those experiences in a since-deleted Instagram post (per The Blast). Referencing her outfit videos, she claimed they were shot “before I knew I was pregnant.” She went on to admit that in her closet “organization is never ending,” adding:
“I’ve honestly given up on getting mad with the way my husband is so messy… sometimes it’s better to make your man think you don’t really care … It’s pretty powerful !!! I mean I learned from the best… my family !!! I get it honest folks !!! ”
She went on:
“I don’t like this nauseous thing in the morning and it blows my mind how some of these women on Instagram are running hardcore pregnant !!! Hey… if you can do that great but I’m lazy as hell … I know I should get up and probably do something but I genuinely like holding this precious miracle inside of me… I just want time to stop and hold it in here for eternity… the stillness of holding something so holy and beautiful inside me makes me feel more blessed than anything … It is 100% spiritually out of this world !!! ”
Acknowledging that other mothers “were so much better after they had the baby,” the singer said:
“I didn’t want mine to come out ever !!! I liked the baby being safe in my womb and close to my heart … I know this sounds horrible but I wouldn’t even let my own mother hold my babies when they were born !!! My mother never held Preston as an infant and Jayden was held on time for literally 5 seconds… I was probably extreme but I couldn’t let go !!! Almost too bonded !!! Talk about mama bear… good God !!! ”
The 40-year-old observed that some pregnant women were able to lose weight while carrying a child and referenced pregnancy exercise classes, but said that for those classes were “like f ** king devil.” She remembered:
“I was mean as hell… it was beyond me… I think the thing that made people so uncomfortable was the fact I was unbelievably SILENT !!! But geez my ex-husband [Kevin Federline] wouldn’t see me when I flew to New York with a baby inside me and Las Vegas when he was shooting a video !!! And as my brother’s best friend shows up to support a very pregnant woman in Vegas because he felt and PLAYED IT OFF TALKING AND EATING ICE ALL NIGHT. ”
Related: How Did K-Fed React To Britney’s Pregnancy Announcement?
Apparently, the Mickey Mouse Club alum’s “weird” pregnancy cravings included “huge pickles and biting down on ice.” But at that time, she recalled:
“As the ice hit my tongue, I got a text saying ‘If you don’t divorce Kevin he will publicly do it to you…’ Since I hadn’t seen him in a while, I already knew it was over… I had my baby and went out literally 2 times with Paris [Hilton]and it was all over the news like I was a party girl… Whatever… it’s over now and I’ve made my peace with it… Although writing my book is actually hard after speaking for 2 hours each time to this lovely lady trying to create drafts… I cry for 2 days afterwards and I’m like ‘Jesus Christ !!! I’ve been through it but it’s INCREDIBLY CLEANSING yet hard… ‘”
Wow! Brit is really unearthing all her past traumas for this book! On a lighter note, she concluded:
“I hope I don’t turn into the devil like I did with my first 2 pregnancies… I think food will make me nice and you WILL NOT find me doing cardio … Anyways it’s a lazy hazy day and I’m going to be just that lazy … ”
Britney has definitely earned ALL the lazy days she wants. We hope this time around, she feels loved, supported, and cared for during her pregnancy!
[Image via Judy Eddy/WENN & Britney Spears/Instagram]